The long version

Here are some of the details that I remember from our wedding. 

It started with introductions. One by one, our gathered friends and family introduced themselves and gave a glimpse of how we know them.

Amber Forest, the park ranger at Larrabee State Park, who was gave us a job as camp hosts when we were moving here and living in our trailer. She said, “I met them in the forest.”

Ken Matthews, our realtor, and his partner Wayne.  Ken helped us buy this house.

Our neighbors Kathy, Dan, Eliza and Paulina, who visit with us and our dog. Dan said, "Lynne helped us fix our front door lock."

Our friends from our circle of lesbian friends: Jerri, Lynn, Lora, Tovah, Janine, Kate, Jeanne, Amy, Janis, Michele, Ruth and Carol.  A few met us first at a reading at Village Books. The rest said they met us at gatherings of this "intentional community".

Ruth, Carol, Amber and Ken M.

Our first tai chi instructor, Lee and her husband Rick. Rick said he guessed he was here because he was lucky.



Kathy, Bill and their 17 year old daughter, Michelle.  During the service, Michelle presented us with a painting that she had done for us.

Our other neighbors down the street, Winnie’s second home, Ken W. and Phyllis, who were letting Winnie stay at their house during the wedding. They also lent us wine glasses, folding chairs, and made cookies.

Sara and Mike, my Census friends, who so kindly transported my mother here and then back home.



Cooie, Sara, Ken and Phyllis

My mother, in her blue dress, matching blue earings and sparkly necklace. She wore lipstick and rouge. When it was her turn to say how she knew us, she said, "I've known them for a long time."

Kay and Leslie, who have known us for 37 years.  They are Kentucky friends who moved to Bellingham before we did.

We had a lively crowd, who responded and spoke up.

Tovah sang the song that she composed "We Have Made a Vow", written when Proposition 74 passed.  Everyone cried.

We said our vows, facing each other and holding hands.



Kent looking on during the vows, Lynne and Sky

Lynne, Take me as I am. Set your seal upon my heart. Summon all that I may be.

Sky, Take me as I am. Set your seal upon my heart. Summon all that I may be.

The big hug. Kent is looking on. Michelle's painting is on the mantel.
It says "Sky and Lynne United in Love"

Kent pronounced us married, “Through the power vested in me by the state of Washington, I pronounce you married.”

Tovah (musician), Eliza and Paulina (flower girls),
Dan (father of flower girls) during "Song of the Soul"

That moment. Almost over. Everyone singing. Flower petals flying. We had done it. We all had done it.



Eliza finished throwing her flower petals. Then she started gathering them back up so that she could take them home. But she missed one. A flower petal landed on my mother. She picked it up and slipped it in her purse.

Warren, JoAnn, Michelle, Kathy, Kathy, Bill and Michelle
singing "Song of the Soul"



People stayed. Food kept pouring out of the kitchen. Our friends are golden, working tirelessly. Michele taking pictures. A blur of visiting with our friends, and then Lynne tugging at my sleeve to come sign the marriage certificates. The souvenir copy is sitting next to me on this desk as I write.

Applause at the end

 Sara broke open the chocolate high heel slipper that my writing group friends had given us, and circulated around offering pieces of chocolate slipper to the crowd.

Our friends Tovah, musician and Lora, caterer extraordinaire

Our friends who had worked for days preparing a table fit for royalty, kept the food flowing out of the oven and onto the overflowing trays.  They stayed until the end, washing dishes, organizing leftovers, and taking home extra bottles of wine and sparkling juices.

I am proud of everyone, of our diverse community, those who were here at the wedding and those many others who could not be. We are humbled by how much love has been expressed for us in so many small and large ways, on this day, before and since. 

Countdown to a wedding

We ordered a sapphire blue dress and black dress flats.  Our friend came up with a blue ring and she will bring blue earrings.  All this to get my mother dressed for our wedding, upcoming on December 15th.  My mother has a speaking part (she'll read from Philippians) and yesterday she asked, how will people address your Christmas cards?  Mrs. and Mrs.?

This spring, my mother (age 96) was opposed to marriage equality.  When our church planned to make a video in support of Prop 74, she was one of the few who stayed in her pew and did not come forward to participate in the videotape of the congregation saying "We support marriage equality."  She made a disparaging comment about it on our way home from church that day.  Lynne and I explained the reasons why we would like to get married, among other things the possibility to eventually be covered on her federal health insurance.

Sometime between that day and this, my mother changed her mind.  Was it because the topic was frequently mentioned at church?  I doubt it was from spending time with us.  I told my mother that I was a lesbian 34 years ago.  My mother has spent many visits and holidays with Lynne and me, seemingly enjoying the company of our friends and community.  I never heard her negative comments until 2004, when two events collided:  Gavin Newsome opened the door to same sex marriage in San Francisco and Fox news covered it.  When I called my mother to tell her that Lynne and I had an appointment to get married in San Francisco, I was taken aback by her slurs against gay people, including the comment that "they" shouldn't be shown on tv. 

Do you feel the energy I have for this story?  The hurt, the disappointment, the sting?  OK, that's off my chest.

Yesterday, Lynne and I applied for our marriage license.  What do you think I felt 35 years after we spent our first romantic night together?  To be going up to the computer station and filling out the form ("Do you want to be spouse 1 or spouse 2?) and then going to the desk for the clerk the certificates?  You are right, I cried.  I cried just waiting in line once the office opened.  Seeing the other couples ahead of us filling out their forms.  Being in the marriage license office. Watching the clerks watching us.  Nobody had said a thing to me, nothing had happened. I swallowed hard and tried to mask my tears.

So this week, we are starting the countdown for our wedding, and I hope to share the experience with you each day, especially because so many of our friends and family are in Kentucky and at random distant locations around the US.  We aren't the first same sex couple to get married (Massachusetts has been allowing it for 8 years), we aren't the first in Washington (some of our friends are beating us to the altar by several days), but it is the first time we are getting married, and it is a first to be able to get married in the state of our residence among our Kentucky friends.  Thanks for reading and stay tuned!  Exciting topics to be covered: What will we wear?  What will we say?  How do we feel about getting married after 35 years of being together?  And where are we going to get enough folding chairs?